It has been a while

Well, it has been awhile since I have posted. I can't believe how long though!
So I only have three half days left in school. I am excited, but they are filled with finals. Wen, I don't have to take either of the finals. That makes me happy.
I have a boyfriend and just to clear things up, I don't know how much longer we are going to last. It doesn't surprise me. I will stay with him as long as he wants me to. I am happy to be with him, I can't help but smile when I am around him!

The people I am living with, well I have been avoiding them lately just to cool off. I haven't really been in a good mood lately, and I somewhat know why. I am not completely positive. I now have a job, which is awesome, I am working at a store called H.E.B.

*Here
Everything is
Better*
Actually it is Howard E. Butt.
His wife is the founder of the company the early 1900's. I go for training on Tuesday at 2pm, after school(half days remember)

JROTC is going well. I wanted to go to summer camp but I can't anymore, and I only have it for half a year next year as well. I am going to talk to my mom and dad about taking the course that is holding my back online. The only problem is that I would have to dip into my savings and pay 155 for the course! That is  a lot and it would be the same if I took it as a summer school class. I want to take it so that I will have a full year of JROTC, but I don't know if it is worth the money. I guess I will just have to wait again for the Nook and buy the class. It would be in the summer online as I mentioned and when i needed to take the final, I would have to get with the school to take it. I don't really want to take it again, but I might as well. The class is communications Applications. See I would have taken it this year, had I known in the beginning that I had to take it. See when I first moved to Texas, I had to set up my schedule for school. We picked all the classes that I needed and I asked, was there anything else that I needed, they said no, and then half way through the year, "Oh, by the way. Next year you will have to take Communication Applications."

Sorry, I got to ranting.. I have been doing that a lot lately as well and I don;t know why.

Well I will say goodbye for now.

Stay real, Stay true

Why? (Another Poem)

Why? Why does he hate me? Why won't he talk to me? Why do I still like him? Why won't he listen? Why do I hide from him?

Why does he like me? Why does he try? Why won't he ever just admit that he will never love me? Why do I try?

Why does he sit with me? Why does he say things that aren't true?

Why do they even bother me?

I can't do it anymore(another poem)

I can't do it anymore.
I can't hide myself.
I can't run away anymore.
I want to be perfect.
I want to make everyone happy.
I want to stay where I am but I can't.
I want those who attempt, to actually try, to see the faults.
I want my mom back.
I want to be accepted.
But I can't do it anymore.

It is there( This is a poem I wrote)

Though you can't see it, it's there.
Though you think she is happy,
Though you think she's normal,
She's not.
She cries herself to sleep,
She holds her animals and creams.
She is angry all other times.
So what if she smiles?
It's all a play.
Though you can't see it, it's there.
Though you deny it, it happens.
Though she tries to hide it,
And believe it is gone, it always comes back.
Why fight it anymore?
Why hide it? It's useless.
No one wants a girl like her.
Why pretend?
Why try to be what I'm not?